The smoke is getting blown, the drinks are getting strong.

 " girl, you say you feel us fading...well me too " 

i miss you blogger. like truly.  My vacation in ATL thus far has been bomb. shopped a little and explored new places. I also met a few cool people.  My 19th Birthday is coming up, like REALLY soon. not quite sure of what im gonna do though. My photography & editing skills have been getting better to. I can't wait to actually set up some shoots when i get home. Well i leave for Chicago July 24th im pretty stoked for thus trip, being the fact that i've never been. 

& i've also been shooting black & white Photographs. There's a meaning behind them, im not just  "doing" it. im just so confused w/ my life right now. no bad confusion just confusion if that makes sense. im not sure if it does.. but i mean yea you guys have to feel me. like i just got out of a relationship and it's like im not even hurt by it. like at all. usually i'd be heart broken, like i thought i was in love and for me to not be hurt and not even think about the pass is weird.... Maybe i just was putting on a front. i thought i liked her though, so who am i to say. butttt now it's like i feel for another person, like a deep feel. im just kinda scared... should i be though like i trust it, i just don't wanna be lied to you know.. girls lie worst than guys sometimes. i guess i'l just play it out and just play my cards don't think much on it. JUST DO IT. you know, like whatever body is telling me. it's just a lot. 

then i feel like my "Friends" are slowly fading off, we don't talk like we use too. i don't like that, in fact i hate that. i wish they'd all just come together and we could all be cool again, you know but maybe thats just wishful thinking?

Thenn it's YOU, like wow. i like you alot.... and you say your digging me too, but im so use just talking to whoever i'm w/ or dating anytime i want. w/ you it's not like that. i don't like it. i feel like there's a limit being put on. then when we do talk it's like a 12:00pm.. i'm about sleeep then. i try & stay up as long as possible, but however it isn't long. i mean i just wish i could talk/text you whenever i want i mean since i can't see you when i want, am i wrong for that? i don't think i am. but then again, now w/ you but with everyone else.. im always wrong...

&&& all the girls that are trying to come back into my life. im good. your fine. we didn't make it for a reason. " people never change " and i learned this the HARD way. so just stay in your lane. for now on.. it's one chance. not going back and trying to fix the past.

-----inspired by Drake's " Im a do it all " . 

goodnight